There is one thing that can be taken away and given back at any one moment in time and that is a life. To survive life after a loss of someone after you spent your entire life with them, takes real courage; to pick up and move on and to change what took a lifetime to build.
I had a good marriage for more than thirty years, I loved my children, had great friends, a career, a nice home and even with all that; the loss was just too devastating, and all I could do was sit there and morn; I was wasting away and I knew that it was what was happening to me.
I was sinking into deep dark depression, and, I knew it, but something inside me said I had to make a drastic change if I were to going to survive; so I did what most people would never consider; I left home, took a chance; went to England and Wales, I traveled all summer. I wanted to live again and to write and travel and I wanted to see things. I needed a new life, time to heal, to meet new people and to find someone special maybe, someday if possible, and so I did just that.
Wales is the most beautiful place on earth. I have never seen so much green and flowers and ocean with mountains in one place in all my life. Once I crossed that Severn Bridge and the estuary, I saw mountains, and the forest that leads right to the sea. I was taken back in awe, it was breathtaking.
In the county of South Glamorgan, there is a descent down the mountain, westbound on the M4, past Cardiff, coming through Port Talbot before entering Swansea that is so astonishing and awe-inspiring with beauty.
It made me feel like I was apart of it. Not really knowing what the outcome would be and it made me think that I was still young, attractive and I still had a lifetime to live and that life there could be great.
Life there is not so fast paced, it allowed me to breathe and to think and to write. The people are friendly, kind and some timid and a bit more laid back and so I thought and if I truly believed that I could be happy there and that I could make someone happy too and make a new life. I think that is what we all long for. It’s some place where we love to be, that makes you happy, doing what you love to do.
Survival is a basic instinct and I think things happen for a reason. Sure we have choices and I chose to live there and without any regrets that I could happy and blessed a second time in my life. I love Wales and it makes me feel like I am home again and that I am the lucky one by going there and discovering it.
I think there are some people out there who are quick to judge me for leaving America and my home but it seems they are always the last to offer a solution for my state of being. If they could only walk in my shoes, and come see Wales they would totally understand how much this place can heal a hurt. Wales has been my healing place.
Suffering a loss is like a rip through your heart and soul without leaving a mark on your shirt. It’s not right to remain in pain once you realise there is more out there than you can see at first glance in the world, but when you ignore your own needs then the real meaning of living is obscure and purposely blurred.
And when we don’t speak our true thoughts, and don’t do what we are meant to do , we won’t ever heal because we will never know the long term damage it can really cause us.
Just know that everyone has feelings and we all have to get along and we all have to do the best we can to survive and Wales helped me to do just that.
You just have to believe in yourself to overcome all the obstacles. That’s how I survived.
Thank you for all the support from all my friends and followers for reading, it means a lot to me.
~American Girl in Wales