All the Colors of Green ~ 2.2
All these feelings, bring me words and thought, and the last few days I can’t even hold them back, it seems as if I am ready to burst . Its like holding back the waves like an in ocean of water; where the bay on the Bristol Channel on the South Wales coast. Places on the bay include Mumbles, Swansea and Port Talbot. The River Neath, River Tawe, River Afan and Blackpill stream flow into the it to it prying its way to the shore and out the the sea. That’s is where I am. I’m in a place where my heart can wonder; where I can see the ocean everyday. In the beginning there were fears, fears about us. But no more fear.
You were open; opening me to marry like the pages of poetry and hidden letters you wrote to himself about me that I accidentally read on purpose, but not by accident that I discovered like a child, where there is no hiding behind black ink and writing for once; writing the truth, but sometimes vaguely and I do that too; sometimes.
And then we throw out the apologies for everything: the names and the ignorance; it’s the ways of separating me and you from the rest of the world; then me differently from the rest; of being your little bird climbing into the nest. Its a way of forgiving and not judging; of how love comes about. There is no distance between us and the no unfairness, all you would have to do is look at me and I would laugh and then both of us cry like babies.
And there are strangers to me who know you and each other very well and they let me in. They liked “us” together, recognizing us as a couple. I had been asked enough questions by now with many personalities, all those who work in the shops and their feet were hurting, workers who had the power to swing an ax on my already fractured remains, but every time I open my mouth to speak; I get hundreds of questions and so I repeat my story. Of how we met and why am I here…for many of the Welsh; it’s the first time they met an American and they love our story or at least that’s what they tell me. It’s one of the reasons I chose to write about it and to you.
However, I won’t forget what I came to Wales for…when I rushed in, crying like no man on Earth has ever witnessed and I came over for you, to your bed; for a hug, unable to speak through tears. I immediately was awakened into life anew; swallowing up this life chased by a chug of straight vodka. In life there are bittersweet moments that I left behind for something better and it is in these new moments, I will remember as the very best.
To know you, this manly legend of testosterone fueled fighting awesomeness and with a hunting aim like no other, but the strongest I’ve ever witnessed and when I fell in love with you was thumbing loose pages of a book with a broken spine; all of a sudden and then all at once.
The moments where you took off the suit of armor and showed me the human inside. We are like the pieces of the puzzle coming together, who after all these years someone decided to open the box and put it together. We, who know each other very well, even the fragmented parts; and that it’s a beautiful landscape coming together; like two poets who love and try harder to have others understand what we see and that it is within of our blue eyes.
~ American Girl in Wales