A Preface to “All the Colours of Green”

 

“And so its just me and the cat here

inside the mushroom now,

where it is safe and warm in this abode. It’s

where I will lay my head tonight,

sleep in his bed,

crying onto his pillow,

until he returns.”

from “All the Colours of Green
a novel by American Girl in Wales

***

It came as a surprise and shock to the many in my life, but to those who truly know me, to those who understand the need to begin healing thyself; they understood, the importance of starting life over; accepting change, relocating; wanting to pour out; to write and travel and in Wales.

Yes, an American girl from Texas moving to Wales. Oh God, I fit in here like a glove, living like true artist; writing all day, shopping just enough for what is needed for the day, staying up all night; talking; wine and smoking with music and lots of love and laughter.

It’s hard for anyone to leave Texas. Most people say about Texas, “I got here as fast as I could.”

I lost a husband to cancer, of 30 years, spent the last 7 years as his primary caregiver. The Alzheimer’s kicked in then the Parkinson’s. It was difficult, but my children were grown, with no other family members around. I had to make a change or flounder; I was not thriving, but not everyone heard me and my energy depleted; I felt as if I had nothing left in me.

I moved to Wales, it’s somewhere I could feel again then I can heal. I only knew one person here in this place; wondering if he could take on my being; this empty, fragile broken down soul in need of replenishment of self love, companionship; to be a part of the process, a healing process and a return to flow.

We spend so much of trying to do more and be more so our lives; to have “purpose” when really, our only purpose should be to simply love and be loved.

And now because of love, I am the girl who is working on being healthy, finding pleasure in life again. It’s perfect here, yet I am far from perfect but as I am learning: healthy means more than physically well. It means mentally and spiritually and Even these have become a positive in my life and that I have to give in order to get and that if I am to find love again; the gods will make it happen; for Love cannot be forced, only given when it’s given in return.

Love has become a great influence in my life and In each moment, by day and by night, I find myself immensely happy and celebrating being here. However, “here” is more than I could ever imagine; what love would become like, how it would look – but then I never imagined things could be this good. Funny how life works, isn’t it…. Enjoy and thanks for reading
~ Cheers,
Katie Murphy
AGIW

Photos: Family of Wood Mushrooms,
Singleton Park, Swansea, Wales, UK

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