“And so its just me and the cat here
inside the mushroom now,
where it is safe and warm in this abode. It’s
where I will lay my head tonight,
sleep in his bed,
crying onto his pillow,
until he returns.”
from “All the Colours of Green
a novel by American Girl in Wales
It came as a surprise and shock to the many in my life, but to those who truly know me, to those who understand the need to begin healing thyself; they understood, the importance of starting life over; accepting change, relocating; wanting to pour out; to write and travel and in Wales.
Yes, an American girl from Texas moving to Wales. Oh God, I fit in here like a glove, living like true artist; writing all day, shopping just enough for what is needed for the day, staying up all night; talking; wine and smoking with music and lots of love and laughter.
It’s hard for anyone to leave Texas. Most people say about Texas, “I got here as fast as I could.”
I lost a husband to cancer, of 30 years, spent the last 7 years as his primary caregiver. The Alzheimer’s kicked in then the Parkinson’s. It was difficult, but my children were grown, with no other family members around. I had to make a change or flounder; I was not thriving, but not everyone heard me and my energy depleted; I felt as if I had nothing left in me.
I moved to Wales, it’s somewhere I could feel again then I can heal. I only knew one person here in this place; wondering if he could take on my being; this empty, fragile broken down soul in need of replenishment of self love, companionship; to be a part of the process, a healing process and a return to flow.
We spend so much of trying to do more and be more so our lives; to have “purpose” when really, our only purpose should be to simply love and be loved.
And now because of love, I am the girl who is working on being healthy, finding pleasure in life again. It’s perfect here, yet I am far from perfect but as I am learning: healthy means more than physically well. It means mentally and spiritually and Even these have become a positive in my life and that I have to give in order to get and that if I am to find love again; the gods will make it happen; for Love cannot be forced, only given when it’s given in return.
Love has become a great influence in my life and In each moment, by day and by night, I find myself immensely happy and celebrating being here. However, “here” is more than I could ever imagine; what love would become like, how it would look – but then I never imagined things could be this good. Funny how life works, isn’t it…. Enjoy and thanks for reading
Photos: Family of Wood Mushrooms,
Singleton Park, Swansea, Wales, UK